Stop Expecting Tomorrow.

For some reason we all insist on believing in forever. Ideally, it sounds great. I will love you forever, who would not want to hear that? The statement forever is loaded with promises of stability and security. However, realistically nothing last forever. They simply can’t. Moments come and go and eventually you die. That being said, forever is a faulty promise and a horrible standard but most importantly one of the worst lies one can ever tell themselves.

Forever. One lifetime. One love. Eternity. 

From when we are little we seek to find that one person that we will spend forever with. As you grow older your search for forever becomes more important than the moment you are in. Somethings, all things really, are designed to be lived and enjoyed for the moment. This false pretense of forever strips us from enjoying moments that we will never get back. For example, forever implies that there will be a tomorrow. Forever means that you can do or say something to your loved one tomorrow or stay mad at them for an extra week because you have forever to express your love for them. But this is a lie. None of us know for sure what tomorrow holds. None of know whether we will get to say, experience or love the same person tomorrow. None of us will ever have a forever. 

Personally, I refuse to believe in forever anymore. Maybe I am jaded, maybe I am just hurt. Nonetheless, I am simply enjoying moments for what they are. I am learning to take attachment out of love, more importantly learning to feel the moment without the selfish desire to relive it tomorrow. I am learning to live in the now with future plans that only involve me and nobody else. This is because, even if forever does exist, the only person I can be a hundred percent sure that will be there at the end of forever is me and God. 

The relationship I am currently in may end tomorrow. The promises he feeds me he may renege on them tomorrow. The strength that I have today might be gone tomorrow. The people I love, the music I listen to, the friends that I have… may not exist tomorrow and surely wont exist forever. That’s ok. 

The buddhist believe in the middle path. A path that lets you enjoy the here and now. Buddha asks you to not neglect the things that bring you pleasure and joy but to indulge in them understanding that you will never feel or experience that moment again. Momentariness. You are not the same today that you were yesterday or will be tomorrow. You are just the you that is before you. The feelings that you feel are just as fleeting as the moments you experience if you let them be. 

I guess what I am trying to say is learn first to master your heart, your mind will follow. Stop torturing your heart with sweet tales of forever. Start treating your heart right, start taking attachment out of love. Once you can master that you no longer will feel jealous because you understand that the person does not belong to you for longer than that moment. Without attachment you will no longer feel frightened that things might end because they will. Treat your heart right, remind it that tomorrow is not promised. Once you do that, grudges no longer seem worth it and words that feel impossible to say will flow easily from your lips. 

Forever is a lie. Be kind to your heart. 

 

Until later, linger a little longer with me. 

MT

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Somewhere Between a Rock and a Hard Place

Life happens and as much as I would like to abide by the saying, “let your smile change the world, don’t let the world change your smile”, I cant. At least not right now.

Somewhere between a rock and a hard place, a place so alluring from afar, placed me in a position of a lot of pressure, pain and stress.

Somewhere between a rock and a hard place, my smile changed, my heart got colder, my eyes no longer led to my soul.

Somewhere between a rock and a hard place, I find myself in a position of breaking or persevering. Alas, the adversity that every successful person claims to have faced, overcome and triumph over.

Here, with my back against a wall, at the age of 21, I have learned the most I have ever learned about myself. I have changed. I have been changed. I like it.

Here, between law school applications, LSAT prep, school, friends, lovers and expectations I find myself calm. For I know that He has given me vision, talent and strength. Here, between this rock and the wall I will be hardened not broken. I will succeed, not for my glory but His.

Until next time my love, LingerAlittleLongerWithMe.

MT

Confidence is a choice

Today I had the pleasure of reading my roommates blog post, which discussed friendship and her theory on making making friends. Among much of the enlightened things she wrote, one phrase really stuck with me… “Confidence is a choice.” I really could not agree more, hence my blog post about it.

Many times we see people pass by us and they seem so well composed, so determined and so beautiful. We often compare ourselves to them (the worse thing you can do) or wish to be as captivating as they are. However, I contend that we all have insecurities, just some of us choose to no longer be a slave to them.

Choose being the key word. Overlooking your insecurities is not an inherent trait that only certain people are lucky enough to have, it is a choice made very single day… and for some every single moment. Deciding that your self worth will no longer be determined by the guy or girl you are speaking to whom you are engaging with or by what the  next issue of Cosmopolitan or GQ magazine tells you, is a decision that has to be made by you. Embracing your qualities and recognizing your faults sets up a foundation on which you can stand on. Once you start with a foundation, no matter how cracked it seems to be, you have decided to plant your feet in something. From there, you can start changing aspects about yourself you are not happy with; however, do so for your inner happiness, not in hopes of impressing someone.

Confidence comes from within, it stems from your core and grows by absorbing the rain and the sun.

Confidence is not given, for something that is given can be taken away.

Confidence is earned and worked for by every decision you make. Confidence is what makes you better version than the person you were yesterday.

Confidence is always under construction.

Everything you do, you have allowed yourself to do.

Every negative thought you have about yourself dictates how others see you.

Therefore, I challenge you. I challenge you to look in the mirror and tell yourself you love you and the aspects you don’t like you will learn to either accept or change. I challenge you to forcefully replace a negative thought with two reminders of why you are great. Most of all, I challenge you to decide that you are worth it, you are worth more than where you are at.

Until next time loves… linger a little longer with me.

MTabs

If He Wants to He Will

Hardest thing to understand, and put into practice is, if he wants to he will.

What I mean about this is if the guy/girl you are talking to wants to be in your life they will. We have all used The Line. The excuse that we resort to which really means “I am done with you/ you are the back up” in much fewer words. However, no matter how many times we use The Line, we often don’t catch it when it is used on us.

I promise you, chances are the person you are talking to, and have been talking to, did not “forget to call.” (Even if they did forget to call, that means they weren’t thinking about you, don’t you want to be memorable?)

They also weren’t too busy that they couldn’t talk for 5 minutes within that two week period. (They were probably getting busy.) Notice I said two week period, not a day…people get busy for a day or two, even three; however, 14 days is plenty time to fit in a 5 minute conversation. 

It is hard to do, but stop making excuses for the person you are talking to. Think about it this way, you are probably pretty busy too, considering how fast pace our culture is. (If you aren’t, then get busy. No one likes a person that is doing nothing with their life.) I know I am trying to balance being a full-time student at the University of Texas- Austin, an internship at Texas CASA, and a social life. When I finally meet a guy I like I set time aside for them. Regardless of how busy I am. When you meet a guy you really like how bad do you want to hear from them? How many times do you check your phone? Put time aside, cancel plans for them, or text them first. How many things remind you of them?

Don’t you think that you deserve the same from them too?

When your person was hot for you, remember all the cute things they did? Text first, surprises, dates? He went out of his way for you, and chances are he still has that same job, schedule, and hobby that he had when he was doing all those things. Yes the romance dies down and couples move onto a more mature stage, however, don’t be that person who tries to hold on when they are obviously letting go. Don’t miss the signs dude, because there are few things sadder then the person who is holding on by a thin thread.

Trust me, because I have been both the chasee and the chaser.

People, don’t be someones RBI, be their home run.

(In other words, do not be used as a rebound, or a second option, or a backup plan. Be the one they want first, the one that every person works for.)

And if you please, linger a little bit longer with me

MT

I am not catholic

I am not catholic…I was raised catholic; however, found christ in my own way. (A story for another time.)

After watching the movie called “The Life of Pie,” I learned that just because I do not believe in religion, does not mean I cannot find value in it. (Personally, I believe in a relationship with God. A back and forth dialogue.)

Therefore this year, I want to fast during Lent and Ramadan.

The one thing I loved and still do about the Catholic religion is Lent. This idea of fasting for something greater than myself, and asking for the will power to do so rocks my world.

Giving more of myself, by consuming less. I love it!

I want to rid myself of all distractions during Lent. I want to focus on my God, and His intentions for my life. I don’t want to miss out on anything due to my obsession with Facebook, sleeping in, and talking about myself.

I want to be better…

So until then, linger a little longer with me?

MT