For some reason we all insist on believing in forever. Ideally, it sounds great. I will love you forever, who would not want to hear that? The statement forever is loaded with promises of stability and security. However, realistically nothing last forever. They simply can’t. Moments come and go and eventually you die. That being said, forever is a faulty promise and a horrible standard but most importantly one of the worst lies one can ever tell themselves.
Forever. One lifetime. One love. Eternity.
From when we are little we seek to find that one person that we will spend forever with. As you grow older your search for forever becomes more important than the moment you are in. Somethings, all things really, are designed to be lived and enjoyed for the moment. This false pretense of forever strips us from enjoying moments that we will never get back. For example, forever implies that there will be a tomorrow. Forever means that you can do or say something to your loved one tomorrow or stay mad at them for an extra week because you have forever to express your love for them. But this is a lie. None of us know for sure what tomorrow holds. None of know whether we will get to say, experience or love the same person tomorrow. None of us will ever have a forever.
Personally, I refuse to believe in forever anymore. Maybe I am jaded, maybe I am just hurt. Nonetheless, I am simply enjoying moments for what they are. I am learning to take attachment out of love, more importantly learning to feel the moment without the selfish desire to relive it tomorrow. I am learning to live in the now with future plans that only involve me and nobody else. This is because, even if forever does exist, the only person I can be a hundred percent sure that will be there at the end of forever is me and God.
The relationship I am currently in may end tomorrow. The promises he feeds me he may renege on them tomorrow. The strength that I have today might be gone tomorrow. The people I love, the music I listen to, the friends that I have… may not exist tomorrow and surely wont exist forever. That’s ok.
The buddhist believe in the middle path. A path that lets you enjoy the here and now. Buddha asks you to not neglect the things that bring you pleasure and joy but to indulge in them understanding that you will never feel or experience that moment again. Momentariness. You are not the same today that you were yesterday or will be tomorrow. You are just the you that is before you. The feelings that you feel are just as fleeting as the moments you experience if you let them be.
I guess what I am trying to say is learn first to master your heart, your mind will follow. Stop torturing your heart with sweet tales of forever. Start treating your heart right, start taking attachment out of love. Once you can master that you no longer will feel jealous because you understand that the person does not belong to you for longer than that moment. Without attachment you will no longer feel frightened that things might end because they will. Treat your heart right, remind it that tomorrow is not promised. Once you do that, grudges no longer seem worth it and words that feel impossible to say will flow easily from your lips.
Forever is a lie. Be kind to your heart.
Until later, linger a little longer with me.